Fears Friday: Being Used

As someone who does all he can to help people and seek others approval, I would say that over half the people that I interact with in my life, end up using my kindness to their advantage. Not saying it’s the same for everyone, but in my experience, out of all the people you meet and develop relationships with, only a few are authentic.

No matter what the case may be, some people are only out for themselves and it doesn’t matter who they hurt and what they have to do to get what they want.

But, those terrible human beings are not my focus in this article. I am writing about the others, the smaller percentage of people who are legitimate in their care for you. The people who want the best for you and who doesn’t ask for anything in return. This is your family who supports you and wants the best for you, your friends who are like family or may be closer to you then your own family, even in intimate relationships with a partner.

These people are the perfect example of humanity that we can find. Selfless, caring, brave souls who chose to be a part of your life. Unfortunately we at times become so wrapped up in the terrible dishonesty of the people who are only out for themselves, that we lose sight of the ones who truly care. We end up pushing the people who love us away because we are afraid that they are just like the others.

That’s my “Fears Friday” topic for today. How many times are we going to let the negative actions of others cause us to self sabotage our relationships with the people who actually want the best for us?

For me, fear takes control. I go into defense mode because being in contact with those negative people causes me to have a negative outlook on the ones who have positive impact in my life. I’ve ruined relationships because of that fear and I have hurt great people all because of my own fear of what may, or may not happen.

I know for me, I have to get to a point where I can live my life unapologetically. I need to get to the point where I don’t have to fear the love of those who love me. It all starts with gratitude, be grateful for the lessons that were learned in those toxic relationships. Then comes acceptance, we need to accept the fact that people will walk over you if you let them. Next comes assurance. Assurance is key in any relationship. Be assured that the ones who are in your life are authentic. Realize that they are going to be there for you even if the thoughts inside your head tell you otherwise. Awareness I’d say is one of the last. Be aware whenever these feelings or thoughts come about, are they from a truth? Where are these thoughts coming from? Are these from fact, or fear?

If its fact, time to act. If it’s fear, you’re in the clear. We need to not let fear cause us to push the good ones away.

We need the good.

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